Your Heroes Are a Map. Here’s How to Read It.
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“Your aspirations show up in your admirations.” — Danielle LaPorte
If you’re stepping into leadership — maybe a new role, a growing team, or a bigger stage — you might still be figuring out who you are as a leader. That’s normal. Identity takes time to catch up to responsibility.
A simple place to begin?
Notice who you admire.
Not for their titles or accomplishments, but for the way they show up.
What about them sparks something in you?
What behaviors feel like “yes, I want to do that”?
Where do you feel a sense of excitement or possibility?
Admiration isn’t just flattery.
It’s information.
A quiet compass pointing toward who you’re becoming.
My Own Example
I’ve often said: I want to be Brené Brown when I grow up.
It took me a little while to understand why I kept saying that. When I saw Danielle LaPorte’s quote, it became clear to me.
It’s because Brené:
- Takes complex concepts and makes them accessible and useful
- Shares personal stories that help her readers see themselves more clearly
- Integrates what she is learning into how she shows up, constantly evolving her leadership as a result
Useful.
Accessible.
Open. Curious.
Willing to integrate new insights into my way of being and coaching.
Those qualities have guided my development as a coach, parent and person since I discovered her work more than a decade ago.
That’s the power of paying attention to who lights you up.
A Client Story
Early in my career, a founder told me he couldn’t think of anyone he admired. So we let the question simmer.
The next time we talked, he arrived excited and clear:
Elon Musk. Ray Kurzweil. Peter Diamandis.
“They aren’t just innovators,” he said.
“They are disrupters.”
And suddenly it clicked. His admiration wasn’t about celebrity, it was about being bold, imaginative and challenging the status quo.
Once he could name that, his whole sense of himself started to expand.
I want to be that kind of leader.
Admiration opened a door into identity.
Try This
Give yourself a little time and curiosity.
Ask yourself:
- Who do I admire?
- What qualities draw me in?
- What feels familiar — even if it’s still growing in me?
- What’s one small way I could practice that trait this week?
Write the qualities down.
Keep them in your line of sight.
Return to them when you feel unsure or overwhelmed.
Leaders aren’t born with a fully formed identity.
We grow into it — piece by piece, inspiration by inspiration.
Becoming Is Allowed
Leadership isn’t about already being the person others expect you to be.
It’s about becoming the person you are called to be.
Admiration gives you a map.
Not to copy someone else — but to step more confidently into who you already are, and who you’re still becoming.
